I am shit scared….
About the recession? No.
About my onsite stay? No.
About my job staying till the end of the recession? No.
These are probably the things troubling most people today. But, on my mind, there is something much bigger than that (at least for me). I am shit scared of nothing but my marriage…
Is the marriage date fixed? No.
Have I met the girl? No.
Is there someone shortlisted? No.
Have I even talked to one? Hell no.
Then what is there to be tensed about? I have no idea…and that is why I am more afraid than ever… But from the day that Dad sent me a couple of links on some website to have a look at the girls; I am having difficulty in sleeping at night for the first time. It all started a couple of weeks before when my dad decided to start looking at websites and identifying girls for me.
Before that they had asked me my criteria. I gave them just four things:
- She should have a beautiful smile. Why? When we meet, I just want to look at her smile and forget everything else…
- She should know Hindi. Why? I don’t want to sit with my friends and have to talk in English, for god’s sake. That would drive me crazy.
- She should not be one of the mallu nurses. Why? When mallu girls do not know what to do, they become a nurse, so that they can get married to some NRI and earn lots of money. That is a blog in itself.
- She should be educated. Why? Well, I want someone with whom I can have discussions at my level. [Which in itself is not very high].
Although my parents are in the US, they found 2 girls, who they see as candidates. I had a look at the pics and said, well as long as they meet the above four criteria and your set of infinite ones, I have no reason to reject them. I mean, who am I to reject anybody. I am not John Abraham or John the Baptist for that matter. Essentially, I am no hunk and I ain’t no saint.
Then started the sleeplessness. I am tensed, I am scared, lots of thoughts going on in my mind. With no idea what the future holds, it’s ok to be wary, but scared… Why the hell am I scared? I will try to list down few of my thoughts and probably I will get my answer.
- How will the girl be? Will she adjust with my parents, or will my life be an endless drive to ensure that both my parents and my wife are happy and get along well.
- How will she be to me? Will she understand me? Heck, I don’t understand myself sometimes.
- Will she be my good friend? Someone tell me, is it very difficult to be my friend? Am I very demanding? Am I an easy friend? Am I difficult to be with?
- What about her, will she be an easy friend? Or will she be a difficult one? Will be running around just to ensure that she remains my friend?
- Will we love each other, or will it be a life of compromise?
- How about her parents? Will they be as great as mine? Will I be able to talk to them as comfortably as I talk to mine?
- Will I finally marry someone who doesn’t understand Hindi, and will I be forced to enjoy with her friends as I know Malayalam. I mean, I am ok to be with her friends as long as she doesn’t expect me to leave mine as she doesn’t understand what I talk.
- Will she be too modern and out of my control?
You know what? There are times when I think, that if I had had 4-5 [highly exaggerated] girlfriends, then probably, I would know how to handle girls and also exactly what I want. There are times when I think that the four criteria I have laid, seems to be too less. I mean, there is no mention of the clause, that she should be a girl… Ok, jokes apart.
I guess, what I am really afraid of is, that I do not know what to talk to the girls when I meet the person. Obviously, the person would be putting her best foot forward, but is that the person? Or is it some alter ego of the actual person that is being projected. Sourav always tells me that I can judge a person very easily and that I would surely select the right person. But to be absolutely honest, I have lots of ESPs, but they all work as long as it deals with someone else. When it comes to things that affect me, it always fails.
I am scared of making the decision, and of the decision going wrong.
5 comments:
WOHA!!! Thats some..train of thought you got rolling out there,Libin.
I shall await for responses from 'married' friends.
All of them Lucky n Happy,-Touchwood-,should be able to thorw some light over the matter.
dont worry so much... its all in your hands, everything can be handled.
The key word in any married couples life is "PATIENCE", which am sure you have in abundance, at least when compared to me! :)
as you mentioned, obviously when you meet a person for the first time, they are at their best! but by asking a few questions that really matters to u (something more meaningful to your life, apart from those 4 that you have mentioned!) you can at least know if that person can match your wavelength or not. I will email a few questions to you, see if it makes sense & suits you.
when I was getting married, my sisters told me "no matter whom you marry, no matter for however long you have known him/her, things change once you are married" - I thought all those people were just trying their level best to convince me to marry someone whom I dint know. But I understood this statement very finely only after a few months of my wedded life.
Its simple logic, even if you had a girlfriend for years, she would not be living with you/your family, so you are used to a different way of life. But all those would in many cases have to change after marriage, when there is a case that you all have to live together.. and there starts LIFE :) full of surprises!
Even the girl whom your parents chose to meet you would have all these or probably many more questions in her mind.... so dont worry bhai... everything will be just fine...
LIBIN!!! never knew that u ever thot about any girl's so much...ie to say probably i am the one who has known you the longest( remember- joycee,sacred heart,....well i cant name the others)!!. Dude i am happy tat u have started thinking.
Jokes apart what i have to say is that, GOD has made your other half exactly as one who will fit in your thots, words and deeds like the pieces of a puzzle.
The time when HE has made you ready for her(all of these 26 yrs of ur life), the same time he has spent in making her ready for you. The girls that your parents are selecting are options that GOD is providing you and am sure that finally you will find the right Girl...you will know it when u see her as u are "HARDWIRED" that way to identify your other half successfully , which you will get to have only after this 26 yrs of being alone.
Well to thoda "chill maar"...enjoy the process .After all itnee saree ladkiyon ko legally apne paapa mummy ke saath baithkar life me ek hi baar dekh sakta hai.....warna hum aunty ko jaante hain ki tumnko kitna marengi.
YA as friends we will all pray for you.
And if still doubts linger call"+91-9986015948"
Congos bhaisaahab!! :) Just saw the pics..You both look so blissful and happy...Loads of blessings and good wishes to you and your happy and prosperous life ahead!!
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